The imaginable kiss
My girlfriend’s nephew/godson was in town for the weekend and we had planned to go out for drinks his first night. I met Stephen when Sarah and I visited her sister’s family in upstate New York when he was just a teen. I was surprised to learn that he just turned 23 last month. She was called to travel for work last minute and had no way out of it. Since I frequent all the hot restaurants and bars in Chicago, Sarah asked if I would show him around. Since my divorce last year, free time on the weekends was the norm for me so I gladly accepted.
Working in media relations has its perks. For one, I get to check out all the new spots that our PR firm represents and secondly, I can work from home three days a week. I got my degree in marketing two years earlier by going to night school when I was still married. My desire to have my own career created a wedge between my then-husband and I, eventually we grew apart after 12 years of marriage. We never had kids so it made the divorce proceedings move faster. Thankfully, our split was amicable, but adjusting to the house without a man was harder. I hadn’t had sex in over two years, but I can’t seem to get into the dating scene. And I haven’t come across anyone that made me feel desirable. The online dating sites that exist seem more like a nuisance to use, maybe it’s just my being set in my ways at 35 years of age. These days, I’ve just been embracing the new career and single-hood.
When I went to pick up Stephen from the airport, I was taken back when I first laid eyes on him. He was gorgeous. He had a built frame that proved he worked out all the time and his face was a paint palette of perfection. I began to wonder if I was blushing because I couldn’t stop looking at him. He approached me with the biggest smile and gave me a hug.
He told me he remembered me when I visited ten years earlier. Wow — it was that long ago? I was probably looking pretty fine then. Lately, I hadn’t been working out or watching what I was eating so I was beginning to put on some weight, mostly around my waist. I had to buy two new pairs of jeans last month cause I couldn’t fit into the ones I had.
We spent the weekend laughing, eating good food (I found out he loves to eat as much as I do) and drinking great wines. It was hard to believe he was going to be leaving when we finished off the weekend at a bar a few blocks away from his hotel.
We were getting hammered. I don’t remember the last time I drank that much. We had a late lunch with a few cocktails. And instead of eating again later in the evening, we went straight to the bar. I was on my third beer and we had three shots of bourbon each.
At one point, I remember looking to him as he was speaking. Watching his full lips move while he told me what kind of music he liked. I wasn’t paying attention because I became aware of the warm feeling that was growing between my legs. I swallowed my breath twice, attempting to control my desire that made me feel bad on top of good. He’s 12 years younger than me and he’s one of my good friend’s nephew — there was no way I could consider even a one night stand.
But why not? He doesn’t live here, I thought. I sensed his attraction towards me. Or did I? Maybe it was my intoxicated state that was fooling me into thinking that a beautiful young man such as himself would be attracted to an older woman like me.
It’s just I haven’t felt this type of sexual attraction in such a long time. I wanted to grab his face and bring it closer to mine and kiss him hard. That was what I wanted. It made me feel alive, just thinking about, and I didn’t want that feeling to end. The more I imagined how the kiss would play out, the more I realized it was time to go. I had reached my drinking capacity and it was time for me to go home — I had work the next day.
He thanked me for the weekend. I thanked him for the company. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch. I felt guilty knowing I had it. But I couldn’t stop thinking about his lips and how much I wanted to know how they would feel against mine.
When I got home he had texted me a picture from our weekend together. It was taken by the couple at the table next to us when we went out to eat on Saturday night. I was so happy I had it. Now I could look at him whenever I wanted. And I could imagine that kiss we shared in my mind.