so be it
you said those words once to me
as if i knew what would come of time
your response to my threat
you were merely teaching me a lesson
and what a lesson it was
i still haven’t healed
but i walked away with my head high
determined to fight this tangle
something without a name
or a reason
it just was, and it made sense
it was a place in a world of chaos
we were held together by a thread
we spoke only one language
we stood on the top floor looking down
away from the world
we were young in our thoughts
misplaced fools that stood on the wrong side of the street
the irony of it all: time
and being without a real memory
you used to peel my skin away
to your advantage
without a warning
at your beckon’s call, i would wait for you
i would hold on to every word as if i were about to dissect it
i was swooned and had no answers
you never saw me in the mirror like i saw you
now looking back, i wonder what my prescription was
the dosage of drugs that existed among us
higher than we could handle
no one could know what turn we would take
or roads we would follow
it was a land only we existed in
and we were doomed
more so, the heart on my sleeve — i wore too well
every ending had its presence
sometimes predicted, i would melt into oblivion
denial was my best friend
belief — my enemy
there was no one i could trust
many days have past since i last heard your voice
our exchange of words, rehearsed
as if deja vu struck again
blinded by ignorance, i wandered for days
staring at the memory of our last moment
straining for a chance to find another one to make
waiting
the day i realized i was a fool
was the day i was a fool
wishing one more day could save me
instead, the minus of that day did
everything in my life shattered when you left
simultaneously
as if to teach me what utmost strength is
how to achieve the results needed to survive
i am a survivor, this is certain
that’s what the preface told me when i entered
my being, my life
i struggle because it is what i know best
so be it
~lwa
