Confession

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

I once knew a cutter

I couldn’t understand her

I cried for her confusion

Or what I thought was lost knowledge

Now I know better

Confession: I wanted to cut today

I wanted to feel something else

Wanted to forget what was breaking me

Didn’t want to feel pain

At least not in that way

I wanted to see results of something I could control

Suddenly believing in chances didn’t seem possible

Wanting to live wasn’t a need but a chore

Learning what wanting to cut really felt like, or so I imagined, was an eye opener

But I stopped myself from finding out

And here I am confessing what made me cry many times before

Truly understanding its warrant, its need, was something that had to happen

Now I’ll never judge. Perhaps, deep down before, I did

I understand

I could relate to someone who’s hurting and doesn’t want to

Cuz right now, I don’t want to too

~lwa